Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19432

Jan 21, 2015

Antimak Nanofuser: 8/11

The Other Arrival: 6/50

iAntipacitor: 6/11

Large Dark Matter-Burning Rocket Engine: 3/??

==Action==

Lothyra experiments with the Sound of Silence by creating a suit of Hard-Light Armor on top of her existing armor. She then fires her iAntimak at the EG-Mech, while Bender gets an idea. He duplicates the Sound of Silence, jury-rigs a Mini Antimak to its power cells, and uses it to create a giant Hard-Light hand.

Yippe ki yay, EG-Mech!

He then bitch-slaps the EG-Mech.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19460

Jan 22, 2015

Antimak Nanofuser: 9/11

iAntipacitor: 7/11

Large Dark Matter-Burning Rocket Engine: 4/7

The Counter-Invasion: 7/50

==Actions==

Aww come on, you stupid forum software! You shut down the best attack in DTG history! Eh, l'll just do it again.

Bender overcharges the Sound of Silence duplicate with a Mini Antimak and uses it to make a giant Hard-Light hand.

Yippe ki yay, EG-Mech!

Then he pimp-slaps the EG-Mech using the Hard-Light Hand. Lothyra then follows up by shooting iAntimak at the spot where the EG-Mech was just hit.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19487

Jan 22, 2015

Antimak Nanofuser: 11/11 Complete!

iAntipacitor: 9/11

Large Dark Matter-Burning Rocket Engine: 6/7

The Counter-Invasion: 9/50

==Action==

Whooo! Finally, Bender's destructive potential is now BACK, BABY!

Bender then alchemizes the Antimak Nanofuser with a Name Tag, renaming it to Bender's Gun, while Lothyra fires iAntimak at the EG-Mech. Then, Bender makes the Hard-Light Hand go in front of the EG-Mech's face.

HEY EG-MECH! DID YOU KNOW THAT IF YOUR FACE IS SMALLER THAN THIS HAND, YOU HAVE BAD EYESIGHT?! THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT IS IF YOU PRESS YOU FACE AGAINST THIS HAND!

He then buffs his request with the following:

UnBlockable M
UnDodgeable M
Persuation M
Anti- Godmodder Loyalty M
Unloopholeabusable By GM M
Will Cause The EG-Mech to Put its Face Against Bender's Hard-Light Hand M
GM Comprehension Of Buffs M
Time Paradox Immunity M
Paradox Correction Immunity M
Offshoot Timeline Prevention M
These Effects Actually Exist, Are Permanent Until The EG-Mech Puts its Face Against Bender's Hard-Light Hand, And Cannot Be Dispelled By Anything M
The GM Can't Stop Or Ruin This M
Buff Capacity M
Counter Godmodding Capacity M
Anti- Counter-Godmodding Curse of Repetitiveness M
Anti- General Curse of Repetitiveness M
Anti- Bad Spelling, Grammar, or Usage Fails M

When the EG-Mech puts its face against the hand, Bender makes the hand slap it straight in the eye. That happens even if the EG-Mech didn't put face on the hand beforehand. All the while, Lothyra just stands in the background, facepalming.

Bender, seriously, you tried that First Godmodding War-level tactic once already, it doesn't work!

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19516

Jan 23, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 10/50

iAntipacitor: 10/11

Large Dark Matter-Burning Rocket Engine: 7/7 Complete!

==Action==

Lothyra alchemizes Large Dark Matter-Burning Rocket Engine && Dark Matter Fuel Tank = Dark Matter Propulsion System. Then she gets an idea. She draws her Quills of Echidna, and turns towards the G-Mech. But, instead of using them as a channel for some kind of summoning, Lothyra activates her suit's flight mode and flies up to the G-Mech's torso! She then begins stabbing the G-Mech with the exceptionally sharp Quills of Echidna! Meanwhile, Bender uses a baseball bat to swat a bomb at the WB-Mech.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19527

Jan 23, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 11/50

iAntipacitor: 11/11 Complete!

Dark Matter Propulsion System: 2/??

==Actions==

Lothyra uses a Name Tag to rename iAntipacitor to iAntimak Carbine, then continues stabbing the G-Mech with her Quills of Echidna! Meanwhile, Bender uses Lightning Quick on the WB-Mech!

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19538

Jan 23, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 12/50

Dark Matter Propulsion System: 3/??

==Actions==

Bender brandishes Bender's Gun and uses it to rocket-jump right in front of the ED-Mech's face, then shoots it in the mouth! Meanwhile, Lothyra decides to vary her attacks by using the Quills of Echidna to cut open a circular hole in the G-Mech's body, then fires iAntimak right into it!

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19553

Jan 24, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 13/50

Dark Matter Propulsion System: 4/10

==Actions==

While Lothyra is attacking the G-Mech, she uses the remote alchemy drone to alchemize Nanogel Spaceship Hull -c Ventilation Systems and Medigun && Australium. At the same time, Bender shoots Bender's Gun at the WB-Mech.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19562

Jan 24, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 14/50

Dark Matter Propulsion System: 5/10

Nanogel Spaceship Hull -c Ventilation System: 2/4

Medigun & Australium: 2/?

==Action==

Bender notices that the EG-Mech is about to self-destruct.

Hey, nobody kills me and a person on my Do Not Kill list on my watch!

Bender uses the Origin Wands to create an impenetrable personal force field around him and Lothyra that can create openings in itself if the user or a friendly is trying to reach out or in. He then blasts the ED-Mech with Bender's Gun.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19779

Jan 28, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 20/50

Control Systems: 2/3

Nanogel Darkship: 2/4

Universal Aid: 5/10

Glittering Gold/Universal Aid Ubercharge Meter: 1/9

==Actions==

Lothyra notices Professor Wasp.

Hmm. Maybe we should take out that meddling asshole first. I feel like he's gonna cause a lot of trouble for us.

Lothyra heals the Perfect Sphere with Glittering Gold again, contributing to its Ubercharge Meter. She then blasts it with iAntimak Carbine. Bender uses Lightning Quick on Professor Wasp. However, if he already used Lightning Quick previously, he instead uses Supercell.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19832

Jan 29, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 23/50

Nanocomms Darkship: 2/4

Universal Aid: 8/10

Control Bridge: 3/8

Glittering Gold/Universal Aid Ubercharge Meter: 3/9

==Actions==

Damn it! I knew that Professor Wasp's meddling would become a problem! If only we could somehow outmeddle him!
...
Wait a second.

Lothyra activates the Sound of Silence, then quickly summons the Scobby-Doo Mystery Gang and fools them into thinking that Professor Wasp is one of the monsters that they must unmask using the Sound of Silence's Hard-Light projections. After a few hours of japes and shenanigans, the "monster" has been handcuffed and is now being led away to trial. The Mystery Gang pulls off the monster's Hard-Light mask to reveal...

"PROFESSOR WASP?!"
"AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!"

While this is happening, Bender is preventing Professor Wasp from meddling in this attack. After the "shocking revelation," he uses Supercell against the defenseless Professor Wasp. The horror of shooting a defenseless person adds to DMK's Emotion Meter.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19843

Jan 29, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 24/50

Nanocomms Darkship: 3/4

Universal Aid: 9/10

Control Bridge: 4/8

Glittering Gold/Universal Aid Ubercharge Meter: 3/9

==Actions==

Lothyra then turns her attention to that accursed Chaos Shard. Somehow, it managed to survive all the way into Trial 2. Far too long, in her opinion.

Hmm. Perhaps it's time to bring out some of that Scranton tech I acquired a few years ago... Dis, prepare a delivery of Scranton components to the Battlefield.
As y0u say, C0mmand3r.

Lothyra begins charging up her creative energies for a new summon... the Physics Cannon. She then heals everything that is not Pro-Godmodder or Boss with Glittering Gold and shoots Professor Wasp with iAntimak Carbine while Bender tries to preempt the Professor's meddling. Bender uses Maximalist on Professor Wasp, then forces the DMK to watch the ending scene of "The Fly" (1986 version), which should increase the emotion meter.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=19989

Jan 31, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 31/50

Physics Cannon: 8/30

Nanogel Hubship: 4/4 Complete!

Universal Power: 6/11

Inertialess Drive && RCS: 4/?

Glittering Gold/Universal Aid Ubercharge Meter: 9/9 Filled!

==Actions==

By the Goddess! These things again?! All the way from Act 2?! Ugh, you know what, screw it, let's see how well a bunch of bugs fare against some proper weaponry.

Lothyra ubercharges the Croach in a harmful way with Universal Aid. She then uses Antimatter RIP on some Keepers, makes a shield around herself and Bender, and reads Section 6 of the GameFAQs Guide. She also alchemizes Nanogel Hubship -c Sensor Array. Were-car Bender turns toward some Keepers, and runs them over, then turns back into a robot and winds CogWynd. Suddenly, Lothyra notices that Irecreeper has died, seemingly permanently.

Crap. And just when the server's being invaded again.

She thinks of ways to revive him, before a specific and familiar method pops into her head.

Ugh... Well, I doubt anyone else in this sausage fest is willing to do it.

She then quickly kisses Irecreeper (on the lips) then slaps him, giving him the will to live!

Whirl of Blades: 4/5

UU Prime plows through some Keepers, heading to the largest glob of Croach. He hits a ramp, jumps through the air, transforms into his humanoid form, and deploys his twin energon blades.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=20087

Feb 2, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 35/50

Physics Cannon: 12/30

Universal Power: 10/11

Inertialess Reactor: 8/8 Complete!

Universal Aid Ubercharge Meter: 2/9

==Actions==

You know what, screw it, I don't care how much antimatter I'm using or the amount of collateral damage it could cause, I'm calling in an orbital bombardment that'll destroy these bugs at their source! Dis, activate the station network and supply them with enough antimatter to bomb the Battlefield back into the stone age!

Orbital Bombardment: 1/25

Lothyra then alchemizes Nanogel Smartship -c Inertialess Reactor. Bender uses Supercell on some Vord Keepers, while UU Prime slices some Keepers with his Twin Energon Blades, which does extra damage because it has the word "Twin" in it.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=20094

Feb 2, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 35/50

Anti-Vord Orbital Bombardment: 2/25

Physics Cannon: 12/30

Universal Power: 11/11 Complete!

Nanogel Smartship -c Inertialess Reactor: 2/4

Universal Power Ubercharge Meter: 2/9

==Actions==

Bender struggles to fight against the horde of insects.

Aww come on, how the hell do we fight against these things, anyway?!
Use scorched earth tactics! Wide attacks that devastate as much as possible! Don't worry about collateral damage!
Not worrying about collateral damage? Now that's something I'm for!

Lothyra fires an Antimatter Nuke Station at an infested piece of terrain, destroying Croach and a group of Vord. Then, she alchemizes alchemizes iAntimak & Quantum Gemerald and Winch & Electromagnet, and heals the Perfect Sphere with Universal Power. Bender uses Bender's Gun to create a supercharged electric field in an infested area, destroying some Croach as well as harming some Vord. UU Prime fires his barrage cannon willy-nilly at anywhere that is infested.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=20130

Feb 3, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 36/50

Anti-Vord Orbital Bombardment: 5/25 (+2 from stronghammer)

Physics Cannon: 13/30

Nanogel Lightship: 3/4

iQuantimak: 2/11

Electrowinch: 2/3

Universal Power Ubercharge Meter:3/9

==Actions==

Lothyra gives off a hollow laugh.

Hah! Like I'd ever ally with you again, Richard! Even the Vord isn't enough of a threat to make me betray myself like that!

Lothyra then gathers Sacred Items and fires multiple shots from iAntimak Carbine at the Croach, destroying it. Finally, she joins the memo.

universalAntimatist [UA] responded to memo.
CUA: Greetings. I am the Descendant known as the Commander, also known as Lothyra Silentread.
CUA: So, I take it that I'm speaking with Eric of the IUPC and Vriska Serket of Alternia?
awesomeAutomaton [AA] responded to memo.
CAA: Hello, meatbags!
CUA: Bender?! Seriously?!
CAA: Hey, who the hell are all these assholes?!
CUA: :facepalm:

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=20138

Feb 3, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 37/50

Anti-Vord Orbital Bombardment: 6/25

Physics Cannon: 14/30

Nanogel Lightship: 4/4 Complete!

iQuantimak: 3/11

Electrowinch: 3/3 Complete!

Universal Power Ubercharge Meter: 4/9

==Actions==

CAA: Hey, AG?! Don't just stand there idling! Are you one of those "troll" losers?
CUA: Bender. Please. Stop.
CAA: Well, I'd like you to know that I am not just a Bender, a machine that bends girders, I am the GREATEST ROBOT THAT EVER LIVED IN ANY UNIVERSE!CUA: You know what, that's it.
universalAntimatist [UA] banned awesomeAutomaton [AA] from responding to this memo [RUDE IDIOT!]
CUA: Yes, that Bender is a sapient industrial robot.
CUA: An alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking, gambler sapient industrial robot, to be precise.
CUA: ...Let's move on.

Lothyra alchemizes Nanogel Lightship -c Artifical Gravity Generator and Large Dolly && Anti-Gravity Device = Hover Dolly. She then duplicates an Antimatter Nuke Station and fires it at infested land. Bender shoots more Keepers with Bender's Gun, then heals the Perfect Sphere with Universal Power.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=20189

Feb 4, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 38/50

Physics Cannon: 16/30

Anti-Vord Orbital Bombardment: 10/25 (+2 from stronghammer)

iQuantimak: 5/11

Nanograv Lightship: 3/4

Hover Dolly: 3/4

Universal Power Ubercharge Meter: 5/9

==Actions==

Ugh, guess this stupid machine misinterpreted me...

Lothyra then alchemizes Winch || Electromagnet. She then gathers sacred items and uses Antimatter RIP on the Terror Guardian. Meanwhile, Bender stands outside fighting off the Vord.

Wait, don't these things hate fire? Hehehe, I've been saving something for that.

Bender then pulls out a few bottles of Johnnie Walker Blue Label... except that they're labeled "Second Harvest" and are filled with a mysterious dark green fluid. With a shock, you realize that the bottles contain not beer, but robot piss.

JOHNNIE WALKER, SECOND HARVEST, OHHH YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!

Bender then downs all of the bottles of "Second Harvest" and unleashes a truly gigantic blast of fire that becomes a fire tornado, burning its was across the Battlefield and killing both Vord and Croach.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=20327

Feb 7, 2015

The Counter-Invasion: 42/50

Physics Cannon: 21/30

Orbital Bombardment: 21/30

iQuantimak: 10/11

Nanolight Superlander: 2/4

Electromagnet Winch: 3/3 Complete!

Universal Power Ubercharge Meter: 7/9

==Actions==

Lothyra uses Antichamber on the Queen, then alchemizes Pod Cargo Bay Doors && Carbon Nanogel. Bender uses Universal Power to harm the Queen.

==The Counter-Invasion==

Meanwhile, above the atmosphere of Minecraftia, the gateway being built near the Orbital Nexus is soon to finish construction. From a distance, it resembles a Stargate, but with cylindrical nodes replacing the chevrons. These nodes are, in fact, large models of Scranton Reality Anchors that neutralize any unwanted alterations to the laws of physics that the gate may cause. An important safety feature, as without them it would be impossible for any metal to pass through the activated gateway.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=20380

Feb 8, 2015

The Other Arrival: 44/50

Physics Cannon: 23/30

Anti-Vord Orbital Bombardment: 25/30 (+2 from stronghammer)

Nanolight Superlander: 4/4 Complete!

Carbon Bay Doors: 3/3 Complete!

Science Container: 2/3

Universal Power Ubercharge Meter: 9/9 Complete!

==Actions==

Bender and Lothyra step out when the swarm of Vord begins its attack.

Are you kidding me?! How many more of these things are there?!
Pfew, I was worried that my orbital bombardment would be wasted.

Bender then tests iQuantimak out by shooting at some Creepervord. Lothyra ubercharges the Croach in a harmful way. This will mean that all Vord in the area will be infected with tiberium. Lothyra then alchemizes Empty Room & Electromagnet Winch & Hover Dolly & Carbon Bay Doors & Large Lift = Cargo Bay, then attempts to read Section 6 of the GameFAQs Guide.

LARGE LIFT: A large version of a lift, which in this case means an elevator without walls.

Original Post: https://www.minecraftforum.net/forums/off-t...r?comment=20430

The Other Arrival: 46/50

Physics Cannon: 25/30

Anti-Vord Orbital Bombardment: 27/30

Cargo Bay: 3/6

SciAntimak: 2/11

Missile Bay: 2/11

Universal Power Ubercharge Meter: 1/9

==Actions==

This is getting ridiculous! Even the orbital bombardment won't be enough to stop them!

Lothyra gathers sacred items, then blasts some Keepers with iAntimak Carbine in exactly the way that Caliborn tried to kill Gamzee (shooting him on full auto for five minutes straight). Bender uses First Aid on the Croach in a harmful way, then votes for all the players' specials (including the trolls).

==Anachron==

Suddenly, the drone left by the HAYO Battalion activates.

Speaking of which, the results of my genetic analysis on Midna's DNA have come back. I think we've figured out how to account for the effects of magic on genetic development, and should be able to apply that knowledge to cloning Vetasian elves. Hmm. You know what, I can send you my DNA to serve as a source of stable genes.
F1l3 s3nt t0 Anachr0n's ma1n databas3. 1t c0nta1ns L0thyra's 3nt1r3 g3n3t1c c0d3, as w3ll as c0nt3xtual data n3cc33ssary to 1nt3rpr3t 1t, 1n add1t10n t0 th3 r3sults 0f th3 Midna g3n3t1c s3qu3nc1ng pr0j3ct.
Anyway, I should go. I have some bugs to exterminate.